This story is part of our April 2026 issue. To read the print version, click here.

Anyone else thinking about leaving HR completely and transferring their skills and experience to another field? I feel so burned out and jaded; HR doesn’t feel the same as it did 25+ years ago when I started my career. I truly want to help people and companies flourish, but my experiences in the last five years or so have been that you have to be ruthless to succeed in this field and not care so much. Have I just been with the wrong organizations?

I think everyone in HR has felt burned out and jaded from time to time. Most of us got into HR because we like people, but working in a people-heavy field, you find out rapidly that not all people are the types of people you’d want to spend time with.

Yes, the majority of employees are great, but that 5 percent are not, and they can make your life a living hell. Add to that the heavy administrative and compliance burden and the utter disdain some people have for HR professionals, and it’s no wonder you’re burned out.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with moving to a new field. Even if you weren’t feeling burned out, it would be 100 percent okay to transfer your skills to a new field, and there are lots of places where former HR people flourish. Things like training, operations, project management, education, analytics, et cetera are all great places to go. Or you could do something entirely new and start making bagels. It’s truly OK.

But I wanted to point out two things that you mentioned and tackle them. They seem to indicate that you’ve probably been at the wrong company rather than being in the wrong field.

Do you have to be ruthless to succeed?

There can be some stiff competition and underhanded behavior to climb the HR ladder — just like there is for marketing, operations or restauranteering. There are people out there who will sacrifice their family, friends and integrity to succeed in their careers. They suck.

You absolutely do not have to cut other people down to be successful in HR. But you do have to make hard decisions, and that can often feel like “showing no pity or compassion for others.” (The definition of “ruthless.”)

Sometimes you have to say no. Sometimes you have to recommend termination for people you like. Sometimes you have to be the adult in the room who says, “Absolutely not.”

It can feel ruthless.

But if you are making those decisions because they are the right thing — both for the business and the other employees — then you’re not lacking in compassion. You are using your knowledge, skills and abilities to make sound decisions.

Sometimes the best thing to do is to be honest and clear with people. And that can sound a lot like “You don’t have what it takes to succeed in this business,” or “Your behavior was unacceptable, and today is your last day.”

Add to that competition for limited promotions, and I can see why you are afraid that ruthlessness is a necessary qualification for success. But it’s not, which brings us to your second point.

Do you have to stop caring?

In my experience, most people who go into people-heavy fields like HR, social work or customer service do so because they enjoy working with other humans. But it can be draining. And when you’ve poured your heart and soul into coaching a recalcitrant employee only to have them turn around and commit the same bad behaviors you dedicated yourself to weeding out, it can be devastating.

Add to that, sometimes you have to conduct layoffs, causing good people to lose their jobs. Or you have to tell a qualified and capable person that, no, they didn’t get the job because the hiring manager decided to go in a different direction.

It would be easier, I think, to stop caring about the people and focus on the processes and procedures. But that would be a mistake. We are the humans in HR, and while many tech leaders say that bots can replace HR, you know that’s not true. To be a great HR professional, it takes compassion and caring, along with a commitment to comply with laws and best practices.

So please, continue to care. If there isn’t a human advocating for the other humans, it will get worse for everyone.

But do set boundaries. You cannot fix the world. You can’t even solve all the problems for your own staff. Focus on what you can do and what is within your professional scope. So, if an employee has money problems, you can refer them to the Employee Assistance Program or an earned income credit program, but you won’t give them cash out of your own pocket. If an employee is in a struggling marriage, you won’t provide relationship counseling, but you will help them figure out a temporary workload adjustment.

Don’t confuse hard decisions with a lack of compassion. Continue to care. But you don’t have to do it within HR. Move on if you want to! Or decide to set boundaries within your current career. Either way, just asking the question shows you do care, and you do deserve compassion for yourself.

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